Word of the Day: Stopcock. (Look it up, you fool!)

Hooray. I'm back from fucking Illinois, finally. Shitty, shitty trips. I got a sale today, though. That was encouraging. Of course, it only covers most of our expenses. Damn.

I had the strangest dream on Wednesday night. Here we go:

I'm getting married. Steve is best man, Beav and Dave are groomsmen. It's in a HUGE church. A very large reception. Steve, Beav and Dave are doing a good job of keeping me sane. I know the person I am marrying, but we're not naming names here for their sake.

Doesn't sound so strange to you guys, does it? But I don't wanna get fucking married! Where the hell did this come from? I mean, yeah, in my dream I was totally happy and all that, but come on. This is ME we're talking about. I don't even have a girlfriend, let alone someone I'm considering spending the rest of my life with. I'm an insane movie geek that loves blood, beer and crazy sex. Not kids, complacency and I dunno...something else, dammit. Jeez.

So I woke a bit confused and breathing heavily. And yes, I told said person about it. We were both a bit thrown back by it.

I suppose that's really all I have to say, at this moment. I'm glad to be back in the 'Lou. Dammit. Have to see about this party tomorrow.

Nix says: Notice how Scott was missing from that dream? That's cuz I was marrying him! (And if you believe that, I smack you about the face and head while laughing and taunting you, you fool.)

"I'm a Dumbass. I Go Too Fast.When I Shouldn't Be Moving At All." -GLU-

Yeah. Yeah. I'm back on my GLU kick. Fuck off.

*sigh* Yesterday was...it was....I was way off in someone else's head. I don't know where it came from. I couldn't sleep on Sunday night and then slept until like 4pm. And I woke with no ambition and no sense of self. Felt empty, again. Had a little breakdown. Luckily I had a good friend to prop me up, a bit.

Thanks and sorry, Quill. That was the last thing you needed to deal with.

So....Howling madagascar tree-monkey. Damn. I have no humor in me. That's just wrong.

I'm like a small child. I know I want something. I just can't get it for myself and I can't vocalize exactly what it is that would make me happy.

What happened to all that fucking confidence and self-acceptance? Wake up, you fucker!!!

Great, now it's come to me talking to myself in print.

I go, now. This is just fucking pathetic.

Nix says: Meeting with my writer (who is a *ahem* philosophy MAJOR, thank you) about my little head trip drama flick, tonight.

Itching and Osteo-arthritis. What? (and a late addition, Robi)

I don't have that stuff. I just want to know who the fuck decided that they could outsmart us with these spam-blog replies? "I love your blog. You might want to check out THIS SITE ON HOW TO HAVE A PROPER BOWEL-MOVEMENT." WTF? I know spam when I see it. And unless you're offering free porn, I ain't clicking, you bastards. (That's a joke. I wouldn't really click on that............... I've got enough right here! hehehehe)

Well, I was put in charge of the second demo, today. 3 couples. They were a lot of fun. Except this one couple. They both didn't seem too interested and sorta bored and I had to fuck with the guy a bit and the girl was a smart-ass, sometimes. So, demo's done, I sit with 2 couples that I thought at least one was gonna buy, since they work at a hospital and should realize all the health aspects and shit. But, nothing. However, my problem couple got a 1299. Who would have fucking guessed? Hooray for me, I guess.

I was hoping to have more interesting and illuminating thoughts to convey. Sorry.

For some fun, head on over to seanbaby.com
LOTS of funny-ass shit to laugh about. Nintendo, the Super Friends, Mr.T.

Here's the beginning of his review for Robin Hood Prince of Thieves for the NES:

"Our brains can turn themselves off and make us temporary morons like when you're holding two things and absent mindedly throw the wrong one away. You'll unwrap a popsicle, walk over to the trash, throw away the popsicle, and put the wrapper in your mouth. I do that all the time. Because like every other man, I think about sex every six seconds. Except I have to devote more of my attention to it since because instead of just the sex, I have to imagine a crime that requires me to be naked and Wonder Woman chasing me through an abandonded warehouse right before the sex, and the clerical error after the sex that somehow places me in an all-female prison where the conjugal visits are built right into your roommate. So you can see if I open a popsicle near a trash can, I have about a 20 percent chance of actually getting to eat that popsicle."

Nix says: "He who makes a beast of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man." Anyone know who said that?

"You'll Never Understand, Cuz I Don't Understand.

Why I do these things, when I miss you more than anything." -GLU-

Holy jeez, wow. So, we're in Cape and we started the demo with 4 couples. One had to leave due to painful knee operation stuff. Now, 30 minutes in, another couple just left do to an "emergency". So we're down to...Two?! Aw, this is beautiful. Glad I got up at 9 in the morning.

You'll never believe who just popped back into existence. My little Canadian shit-disturber, Nikki. Under yet another name, but it's nice to have her back. I was missing having her around. Yay!

Wow, it's been (counts on fingers) 9 days since my little run in with Felicity and you can STILL see perfect bite-marks on my arms! Quill took some pictures when I visited last week, so I hope to have them available for viewing at some point.

Speaking of Quill, he's obviously very busy with his job hunt. Hopefully, he won't have to do it for much longer.

Well back to the rapidly emptying demo.

Nix says: Panda.

Part of the Family

I was just reading through the BJForum and found something I wrote many, many years ago.



STOIC

Don't make me spit it out.
I cannot guarantee,
The words and not the flames,
Will come spewing out from me.

The fire has been burning,
Far too many years.
And nothing, now, can hold it down,
So put away your tears.


Nix says: I kinda like it.

Second Post, More Insightful Than Most

Ok, so this isn't really an "insightful" post. But it's interesting. Ready? Here we go....

I will be 31 in October. I have never had a "wet dream" or "nocturnal emission". EVER.

Now, obviously, I've had sexual dreams and all of that. But never have I enjoyed the embarassment of waking up with sticky sheets. Unless I ate pancakes in my sleep. Me and Aunt Jemima got it going on!

The reason I bring this up is that I was having a GREAT dream yesterday. Those that know me know I spend an inordinate amount of time sleeping. Sleeping usually brings about dreams (or nightmares), right?

Ok, so we've established that with all of the time I spend in bed that I dream a fucking lot.

This dream was so beautiful. I was with some girl I'd never met and we were totally comfortable with eachother. Like we knew that this isn't some Shakesperean tragedy that must be dealt with utmost importance. Sex is fun, dammit!

Anyway, she did her little oral thing and then it progressed AND OH GOD I TRULY BELIEVED THAT I WAS THERE!!

And then I woke up.

SEE!!???? This is what has happened through my whole life!

So, let's take a poll: Guys. Have you been lucky enough to have truly no-strings attached sex in your sleep? And does anyone share my same curse?

Nix says: Thanks, again, "god". You really take care of your creations.

I Just Love Those Surprise Allergy Attacks!!!

Q: How many American Prestige employees does it take to push a luggage cart?

A: Two!
Yeah. Not really funny to anyone but me and the Asian guy. But I couldn't resist. I could just tell the story, but it still wouldn't really amuse anyone.

I am sneezing my brains out, right now. Perhaps it has to do with the cleaning of the apartment. Perhaps I am allergic to cleaning. Perhaps I should dust. Perhaps I should say "perhaps" a few more times. Perhaps I should.

Or not.

Thoughts fly about my head like annoying insects. They're close enough to bring attention to themselves, but won't let you catch them. Fuckers!

I think I shall have to put back on the armor and raise the shields, once more. That last little fuck up HURT. And reminded me why I've been pretty much alone for so long. I believe it was Nut-Job who suggested trying guys, instead of girls. Jesus windsurfing Christ!! What the? I christened you well, my dear. You truly are a nut-job.

Perhaps honesty is NOT always the best option. That's the way I'm feeling. Perhaps (yay!) I need to learn to balance the full-force honesty with just a little "acting". For instance: "I really like you and want you to know me, but right now, let's just bullshit eachother."
Hmmm...That doesn't really work, does it?

I know: "You look beautiful! You must be a slut!"
Shit. That didn't work, either.

I guess I'll have to fix the bugs in that approach.

Anyway, Heather is really pissed at everyone in the whole fucking world because... Umm...Well, I guess she's not really pissed at anyone. Who knew?

Nix say: I knew I had nothing to say, I just had to prove it.

"Hahahaha....Oooo!"

Wow.

Hard Target.

So very cool.

So very Nahleans.

And the ending, holy shit. Most people think of Mardi-fucking-party. And this movie has the climax in the mardigras graveyard. Lots of sparks and fire. And as our heroes leave, the flames resemble the candles in the human graveyards. And that idiot Van Damme actually does an acceptable job. Plus, JCVD wears a psuedo trench and actually just does nice things for sexy chicks and then walks away. He doesn't stick around for the "thank you" sex. Nice! Did I mention he's supposed to be a Cajun, as well? Whoa!
ahem
Nix says: Sorry. Just got wrapped up in the whole "Born on the Bayou" by CCR and ummm... I love this fucking movie. Fuck yall's milk that you can afford, along with bus tickets and gas and cars and still have family and cash and can get a hotel room and FUCKING SURVIVE!

Grasping at Some, But Funny to Me.

Finally, I have a reason.
Under no circumstances will I be returning.
Cuz I don't like pompous bitches.
Knocking paying customers aside.
You stupid bitch.
Only you exist, is that right?
Urethra licker.
Resident stinky ass.
May I suggest you die.
Only, do it slowly.
That's one less stuffy rich bitch to fuck us over.
How's the sugar-daddy doin'?
Even if you paid me to come back, I'd refuse.
Remember the cash I used to throw at your establishment?

Nix says: Well, you're not getting anymore of it, you bitch.

Caffienated, Carbonated Beverage!!!

Wow. I haven't said THAT in awhile. (Miss those days.)

So, today is my sister's birthday. Let's all take a moment and mentally send this one thought to her (think it with me):

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY, BITCH!!!
(My friends get it. For everyone else, I'm not really calling my sister a bitch. Fuck yall's milk and move on.)

Today Quill begins his quest for a place of employment that actually appreciates him. I'm very positive that he will succeed. However, let's all mentally send him a thought, as well:

GOOD LUCK, BITCH!

Word of advice to all: Never say "Fuck your mom." into a microphone when there is a room full of people in audio range. FYI.

That's really all I had to say. Just throwing love to those close to me. Even if it is laced with profanity.

Nix says: fuckshitpissdamnbitchbastardyogurt.

Bruises and Bite-Marks

Well, that hot little hottie? Name is Felicity. She works here at the hotel. She bought me lunch today. Of course I tried to refuse, but she was insistant. She asked to see the marks on my arms. They are quite tender and the one on the right arm is quite a sight. And then I got a hug before I did the demo.

Speaking of demos: 2 shows today and zero sales. Tommy did the first, I did the second. Tommy seems to think that Columbia is just not a city for him. Fine. Give it to me.

Just to clarify the whole Girls Gone Wild thing. They weren't here shooting. They got fucked by Mizzou, or something and were just stopping over here. But you wouldn't believe the questions and shit that it brought up. They were pretty cool guys, except for the fact that they have to be a little ruthless with their job. Talked film with a couple aspiring directors and shit.

Tomorrow, we finish up and head back. I'm actually looking forward to seeing everyone. See, I love that my job gets me out of the 'Lou, but right now I just really feel the need to have the company of my friends.

@Quill: Oh, shit, man. That sucks, but hopefully something better will show up. Good luck, brother.

@Everyone: Fuck yall's milk. Just kidding.

Nix says: Ladies still love Nix.

Umm, Can You Believe This?

So, I'm here in Columbia, Mo.

The Girls Gone Wild guys are here. I also just hung out with New Orleans "refugees", as well.

I had both my arms savagely bitten by a hot little hottie.

Is my life so bad?

Nix says: Been a fun night.

Solved All Of My Problems For Everyone But Me.

I am me. I am alone. I am me.

I'm no philosopher, but I am very alone. I'm creepy. I am alone.

Nix says: What did I do?

The Finality of Death is the Only Truth We Shall Receive

Well, back from Texas. Just watched 3 movies, so I thought I'd give brief opinions of them.

1) Elektra (or Electra or whatever. I really don't care.)

This could have been a fun little flick, but it was full of flashbacks and numerous emotional scenes for Jennifer Garner to prove herself as an actress. Seriously, this is a super-heroine flick. Quit crying and start kicking ass. The action was filmed well, but you had to wait years for anything to happen.

2) Versus
I think I have seen the almost perfect film. Made just for me. Sword-play, gun-play, martial arts, zombies, a guy kicking ass in a trench-coat, and gore. Holy shit. I was in heaven. And humor, as well. This movie hit it all. The only thing it lacked, to make it perfect, was a naked Asian chick. It's Japanese, so there ARE Asian women, but no breasts. Damn. Other than that, it's a flick that just throws everything into one big mess that somehow makes sense. A great party flick.

It's obvious that is was shot on a minimal budget, but the camera work is top-notch and the FX are low-grade but effective. The lead is an Asian Johnny Depp and there's one character who reminded me of Jeffrey Combs in The Frighteners (which has a special edition out now or soon, btw).

I highly recommend this. It's fun.

3) Speaking of Jeffrey Combs.... I just watched Re-Animator for about the thousandth time. I got the uber-edition (Yes, I used the word "uber"). What a well paced, plotted and acted film. It's also one of the darkest humor laced films I've ever seen. If you've never seen it, you are missing out on a milestone in horror and film history. It received great reviews from Ebert and (this is a total shocker) Pauline Kiel. It made many Top 10 lists of many critics back in 1985. And it still holds up as great entertainment. One of the best H.P. Lovecraft flicks ever made. Seek it out or come over and watch it with me.

Nix says: What a day.

Discount Cat Furniture

Ok, everybody. I got my vehicle to open its' mouth. I bought a pair of pliers.

I'm now in a new part of Texas. Whee!!

Almost done with the whole driving thing. Got insurance. Got an oil change. Got really broke.

I have more to say, but I must sleep, for we have 4, count them, 4 demos tomorrow/today.

Nix says: Damn, what a boring blog. I promise more entertainment tomorrow...or the day after...or at some unforseeable future time.

Here We Go, Again...

Just when things are looking up, chaos strikes.

My battery in my truck shifted position and cut ALL power. I went to pop the hood and the cable snapped. So I can't even open the hood to get at the battery. Thanks, whatever is watching over my life. I appreciate it.

Wanted to post this as just a reference for the Loaf. It's from a review online for a little heard of flick:

"Granted, it took two years to produce 22 minutes, but the attention to detail allowed them to turn out a polished, professional-looking demo film."

Wow. 2 years, huh? Now who would want to spend that much time for 22 minutes? Hmmm...I think I got it. People who are passionate and care about what they're doing.

I feel as if my whole world is changing. But in a good way. The only real depression I have is seeing, hearing, reading about my birthplace and the way people are being treated and discussed. Our government, our "leader" didn't do shit for them. I'm not gonna get all political and soapbox. I save that for talk of Hollywood. Heheh.

Nix says: Come with me and we'll learn to live together.

Kids Come Runnin' For Fresh Goat!!

I miss Mystery Science Theater 3000. Above quote from the good ol Joel days.

Life is interesting. You can spend your whole life in a futile search and then one day.... you change the way you look at things and BAM! Suddenly you're a little happier. A little more content. You actually get to go out on "dates".

Yeah. I still don't know what to call what I'm doing. I look at it as meeting new people.

So, I went out on Sunday night (While still kinda recovering from the wedding.) with a really nice girl I was introduced to. We headed for the Landing and had a drink or two and talked and people-watched. It was fun.

Now, many people, when informed that I was out and about with someone of the opposite sex will ask: "Did you get any?". And they are missing the whole point. That's not what I'm looking for and it's not the way I operate. I mean, sure it's fun and desirable, but I don't go out expecting that. Especially on a FIRST GODDAMN DATE, FOR FUCKS' SAKE!!!!

So, the conversation was full of humor and sharing and all that and it was an early night. We left at 12. (For those of you still itching for details, NO, I DID NOT TRY FOR A KISS. A hug is quite refreshing, thank you.)

When I got home, I ended up talking to a friend of mine, who we shall from now on refer to as "Nut-Job". (Don't worry. She's approved of the name.) From about 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. we laughed and talked and... I'm seeing a trend, here. Lots of talking and laughing going on.

Tonight, me and my sister hung out and watched a movie. ("You should watch it. You gotta watch it.") A relaxing Monday.

I guess that's about it. Sis leaves tomorrow morning. I'm gonna miss her. But she should be moving down here in a bit. Then it's time to re-open the World Leg Wrestling Federation, once more.

Nix says: Change your thoughts and change the world. Sorta.

Somebody Kill Your Dog, Or What?

Weddings are great in the hot sun, encased in 3 layers of heavy, black material, standing still for unknown minutes.

Actually, I had a great time yesterday. The wedding was beautiful. (Yes, I was trying not to cry.) And the reception was full of entertainment.

I became a wedding crasher, as well. Even got my picture taken by the photographer at the other wedding.

Almost got into a fight. But that was before the reception. No alcohol involved. Some guy and his girl both were looking like they were at a funeral. We were waiting for the van, to go to the reception. Me, being me, walked up and said (loudly, veryvery loudly) "Cheer the fuck up, dammit!". And dude got all pissed.

Hey, my good friend is getting married, here, asshole. I really wanted to tear his throat out. But I was nice.

So, good times for all. After the reception, me, my sis and 2 other guys went back to my place and had a blast. No World Leg Wrestling Federation stuff, but tons of fun.

Nix says: Boring post, I know.

All Hail Nature! Bringer Of Life...And Death

Well, remember those crazy dreams I was having about the end of the world?

They stopped as the Katrina bitch hit New Orleans. I haven't had one, since.

That's good. But that bitch just wiped out the place I was born in, recieved my name in, had "family" in.

I'm still trying to find out if our friends made it out of there.

Many people (I'm not picking on anyone, I've heard it elsewhere.) think that all the people still there CHOSE to stay there.

Bullshit. Do you know anything about this place?

Many of those left behind and now grasping for help had NO FUCKING CHOICE. They had nowhere to go. And if they did, they had no money and/or no way to get there.

I went to O'Leary's tonight. And, unfortunately, the one T.V. showing all this Katrina footage was in my eye-sight. Shit. I had to keep from crying multiple times.

I met a group of people that came here to escape from New Orleans and they were having a good time. This is after just sitting in their hotel rooms for days, looking for some grasp on reality. I almost understand. When I woke on last Sunday, a friend pointed out that Katrina was right at LA and I said: "Holy shit! Is this really happening?" I am very proud of my Cajun upbringing.

I introduced myself, gave them my "real" name of T-Bob and one girl immediatley new where I had to come from and introduced me to some other people. I hugged and gave my "sorry"s and welcomed them and actually passed on my number, in case they felt like doing something.

As they all left, hugs, kisses and love were exchanged.

It's a terrible thing that's happening. And to even hold back your remorse for some that made a bad decision is holding it back for all involved.

Keep reminding yourselves, that it wasn't just the hurricane. The real problem came with the levees.

Thanks, "Dubya", for all your fukcing help, asshole.

Nix says: Please just think about it.

A Quick Word From Danny Elfman

"Spider crawling on my wall. I see him and he sees it all. Spider crawling in my left ear has a message I want you to hear: Hope you're happy. Found what you were looking for. Do you miss me? Miss me at all?" -Oingo Boingo-

Nix says: And as it ends, the living begins.