Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Good Point

This was emailed to me by a close friend:

"If you don't want to intentionally hurt someone, watch what you say. If you are going to talk about someone behind their back, imagine that everything you say will get back to that person. It might change the words that come out of your mouth knowing that they will get back to the person under discussion. To not intentionally hurt people, you must have the ability to put yourself in their shoes. You have to stop being "YOU" for a moment and be them. Imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed. It's one thing to be yourself, and another thing entirely to be a good human. Life can be more fulfilling when you put others first."

A very well thought out and good string of thoughts.
However.....
This all began with me not even talking bad about a particular living person. Just stating my opinions on a deceased one who is well documented in history. Fuck, I rip on Christians more than I would this Crowley guy. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And it wasn't like I walked up to this guy and pointed my finger in his face and berated him for his belief. True, had I realized that the person I stated it in front of was a member of the same belief system I would have held my tongue a bit. But I've had asshole religious nuts pointing their finger in my face AT WORK, and I handled it as best as I could. I WANTED to beat the living shit out of them, but I also realized that they are entitled to their own opinion.
So, I guess the point is......I wasn't talking shit about someone in particular who then heard about it through someone else. I was talking shit about a psuedo-famous or infamous person from the past and someone heard about it and took an immediate dislike to me.
Sweet tap-dancing jesus! This whole situation is a fucking ridiculous nothing.

Nix says: I love the world so much that I have to destroy it.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Chum Bucket

Chum Bucket is the name of a band that doesn't exist. And probably never will. But it sounds great. And disgusting. I was influenced by Jaws.

So it has been quite awhile since I have decided to grace the web with my prescence. But I'm still breathing, bitch. So suck it.

I am in Seattle. Yay.
It's a crowded little shitty. I mean, City. But I finally got to meet my pack-brother, Wolf. It was a suprisingly laid back "night" we did. Suprising because I've never actually met him in person, but we (or more likely "I") was in no way stressed. Too bad this was such a crammed trip, or I would have done more sight-seeing with him.

In other news: I have aroused the ire of a Crowley worshipper. Long story, but I'll try to sum it up as quick as possible. I stated that Crowley was a fake in front of one of the followers who is dating a friend of mine. That follower told the "Grand High Dragon Bitch-Fucker" or whatever he's called and he immediately hated me. Then I met him at his band practice, since the girl I am seeing is their manager, and his first words to me were "Piss me off or anyone in my band off and it's on" or something. Then I filmed their concert and after they saw the footage it was like I was a part of the band. I got hugs and all sorts of respect. Then things went bad while I was on the road. He heard something or whatnot and then the follower called her B-friend and I was obsessing about how people can hate someone that has never done anything to you and why you can treat them like shit. Next, the follower calls the guy and tells him how I'm talking shit about him.
FOR FUCKS SAKE!!! Now I've had physical harm threatened towards me. And the threat of a death curse or something.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU???
I've been through enough in my life. I don't need this shit. I do not intentionally hurt anyone. EVER. And I'll be fucked if I allow myself to be treated like shit for being me. Fuck off and die, the whole human race. I fuck you all in the eye-socket and eat your genitals. Die, you fuckers. Die.

Nix says: *shakes his head to clear the anger and confusion* Die.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Buncha Babble

After stressing over turning 30 I am back to "normal". (Which means I'm still fucking nuts.)
The party was great. And I've been going out and doing things with my new group of friends since. All is well and I've not been this happy in a long time. Part of it is the girl I've been seeing now. I've mentioned her previously, but I'm still here and loving every minute of her company. It's funny, 'cuz her whole persona that she gives off is nothing like who she actually is. She comes off as being all hard-core and untouchable but when we are together it's like we're the sappiest lovers on the planet. Fuck, I even made dinner last night. Nothing special, but I really wanted to do something for her. And she fucking bought me a candle holder with wolves on it. And a really sweet note with it. God, I felt so loved I started crying like a little bitch. Yeah, the evil Nix broke down in tears.
Anyway, on Halloween I had a decision to make. Should I go to the Thanatos Eternal concert (btw, you can check out their music at www.thanatoseternal.org) or should I go see Scarlet Whore. In the end, I would have had to go to Thanatos alone, and I'm sick of that, so I went with the Whore. The bad thing is, my screenwriter for my film is the singer/driving force behind Thanatos, so I feel bad about not being there to support him. On the other hand, I've seen them once and not the Whore. Plus, it was Halloween, which is my Xmas, and I wanted to celebrate. So, I had a great time and I've got a swollen elbow, a possibly cracked rib and a fucked hip from the pit. Nice.
That's enough for now.

Nix says: I'll take whatever you got.