Saturday, May 19, 2007

This Is...HAHAHAHAHA! *ahem* My Ka-Nee

I went to bed early, last night. 10 pm, to be exact. How very responsible of me!

I woke before the sun had fully risen and stretched all of my limbs, luxuriating in snuggling up with a fluffy blankie and flannel pillie (seeing as how my flannel sheets were somehow destroyed by feces, I must deal with a simple fluffy bankie. Don't ask, don't tell.).

Problem: A SEARING FUCKING PAIN SHOT THROUGH THE FRONT OF MY GODDAMN RIGHT KNEE! It felt like my knee was accusing me of trying to bend it in a position that was not common for knees. Fuck that fucking knee!

It was painful, but I eventually got back into my comfy-goodness. I awoke about an hour later and, forgetting my past interaction with my ligaments, attempted to stretch, once more.

BAD FUCKING IDEA!! It was so unbearable that I rolled around in a fetal position, streaming tears, just wishing someone would jump into my apartment and sever the offending limb with a goddamn chainsaw.

Obviously, this did not happen. But the pain did subside, eventually, and I just gave up and got on the internet to read crazy shit.

Anyone still reading this absolute bullshit? If you are, I hope you're amused. I use this blog as an attempt to ohn, own oan? my writing skills. Did you notice how I just questioned my own (ohn, oan) spelling? And not getting it right at least once? Even with spell-check? That's pretty damn fucking lame. But I find it funny, for some reason.

I wasn't lieing about my ka-nee. I was just babbling about it in a sarcastic or ironic manner.

I recently had a pseudo-convo with someone via IM that basically went like this (and I'm not quoting anyone, here. Just making it stupidly not what was said.)

Person that contacted me: "I hope you don't want to kill me for all the shitty things I keep doing to you!"

Me receiving this ridiculous message: "Well, you keep fucking doing it, so what the fuck does it matter if I want to kill you, or not?"

Person sending me stupid messages that do nothing to resolve or confront what happened: "You're such a dick. I'm sorry I even tried to be cordial!"

Me wondering why it took that person almost a week to even talk about this: "Well, maybe next time we could actually talk about this."

Person cramming in this convo before they have to leave in 3 minutes: "You're such a bastard for not wanting to be nice to me!"

Me just wanting to get back to my review: "Sorry. I'm a total dick. I'm an abusive asshole that cares not a fuck for you. I must have proven that over and over. Remember all those times I treated you like shit? Yeah. I have no right to not yell at you IN CAPS, BITCH! And that's why I didn't."

Nix says: Ooooo....Sarcasm is so fun.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Oh, Boy.

This song is so right and wrong, and all at the same time! I've posted a fascinating blog on myspace about watching television. I know! Everyone will be copying and pasting and sending it to all their friends! http://blog.myspace.com/nixeclips There's the link! Spread it like a blog-virus! And where's my damn pizza? WTF? Bastards. I want my delicious pineapple and hammy cheese pie, you fuckers! Bah. On with lyrics to a song I wish I wasn't able to connect with. And, yes, it's on the live album.

Blue October

"Breakfast After Ten"

"White kitchen walls with a thousand windows
Turn on Winston in the den
And I'm still asleep but I can hear the piano
When you make breakfast after 10
And I smell the coffee on your fingers
I still smell the perfume in the bed
The crushed linen roses on everything
And you're still inside my head

You gotta make her know how it feels to miss you
Let her know you're swapping sides
You're not the one with all the problems
You're the one with all the pride

So just pick your head up boy, and
Walk away
Walk the coolest walk that you know
Cause in a month or two she'll call you
You gotta hang up the phone

I hope she knows I've got this memory
That won't ever seem to break or bend
A thick lock & sheet rock is on my windows in the kitchen
I don't think I'll ever take em' down again

And I've learned a lot from all these break ups and make ups
And fuck ups and fake ups
Things that I wish you could comprehend yeah, comprehend
But for now I'll lace up
these wingtip shoes, boys
And I'll go have breakfast with my good friends

You got to make her know how it feels to miss you
You got to let her know you're swapping sides
You're not the one with all the problems
You're the one with all the pride

You got to make her know how it feels to miss you
Let her know you're swapping spit
You're not the one with all the problems
She's the one that's full of shit

So just pick your head up, boys and
Walk away
Walk the coolest walk that you know
In a month or two she'll call you
You got to
Hang up the phone..."

I'd much rather be posting the lyrics to

"Balance Beam"

"I haven't been quite the same
So sure the story of my life would never change
In a bright eyed way
Rinsed out the soap in my eyes and wrote a song that I'm about to sing
It's about a girl
That I hardly even know
It's not another love song
Just a list of things that I should know
every man should know that...

[Chorus]
One: You've got to take it kind of slowly
Two: You've got to hurry up and make your move
Three: You've got to tell her that she's pretty
Four: You've got to be the perfect gentelman
When you shake the walls, you've got to make 'em bend
Yeah you're got to show her thats she's pretty
She's so pretty
You're the balance beam
And I keep falling all around this fairy tale.

We took a walk in the rain
My suggestion, she requested
The park nearby to cast the shade
Stay cool but I'm giddy like a school boy
You've got to handle with care this is not a toy
Gradually we touched
Though our clothes were wet
We sat and smiled
I never thought I'd smile so much
The first kiss always says the most

[Repeat Chorus]
Every man should know that
[Repeat Chorus]

OO this fairy tale OO this fairy tale
Some kind of fairy tale. Some kind of fairy tale.

Evey man should know that."


But that shit just doesn't seem to work. I must admit that females are still, at 32 years of age, a complete mystery to me. "Sure, let's go to a movie, you pay and then I'll tell you I can't see you, anymore." Hmmmm... Hope you enjoyed the film more than I did, cuz I thought it sucked. I do appreciate the offer to help break down boxes. That was awesome. But Sam Raimi owes me 2 hours and you owe me more than a fucking IM. But whatever. Here's another great song:

Trashcan Sinatras

A Coda

"ill-gotten feeling - a coda
my lover's leaving and i love her

i would've taken you in confidence on things
you wouldn't hear of it, you never let me in
under the circumstances
i confess i never tried my best

there's no plant tonight to water
and i don't care if i live or die either

wasted, lost emotions
nostradamus - now i know what's meant for me

i would have taken you in confidence on things
you wouldn't hear of it, but you never let me in
under the circumstances
i confess i never tried my best

now i know what's meant for me

i would have taken you in confidence on things
you wouldn't dream of it, you never let me in
under the circumstances
i confess i never tried my best... "

Well, that's a bit depressing. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to drag anyone down. I'm actually laughing at a lot of shit. For instance: LiveLines or whatever the fuck it is. This bitch states in the commercial that it's her favorite call-dating-service. So she has more than one? You desperate whore! (My apologies to actual desperate whores and not models with aspiring acting careers. You are free to call as many call-dating-services to meet your needs, you desperate whores.)

Well, that wraps up my bullshit life. Now is time for cake!

Nix says: I'm naming my band Desperate Whores. It's catchy.

Monday, May 14, 2007

The Sound Of Pulling Heaven Down

Wow. I'm actually speechless. Wow. I suck.

[23:29] jessblueiz: Well, I just don't feel the same, anymore.
[23:30] *** You have been disconnected. Mon May 14 23:30:55 2007.
[23:31] jessblueiz: Amongst other things.

Oops. That was supposed to be an embedded link. Damn.






Nix

Sunday, May 06, 2007

WARNING!! For Tetris Lovers Only!

Well, you were fucking warned.

Here's some damn creative guys putting on a stage-based version of the classic. You have to watch the whole thing.



And here's the psychopaths from SomethingAwful.com being psychopaths in public. You should see their Resident Evil 4. The cops were called. More of their crazy shit at http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=RoccoB64 and www.mega64.com



And who knew that the Tetris theme could be sexy? Rowr! If only the damn guys stopped getting in the way of all the hot bitches and the camera would stand the fuck still for a while. And if the chicks would have gotten out of the pool with their wet, dripping, white shirts at the end. Anyway, video/music by some group called 2pm or something.



Nix says: Will have something worth writing about at some point in my life.