Forever And I

Yeah, it's another music quote.

Maybe one or two people may know what it's from.

Wow!! It seems many others are having little "realizations" of their own. Thank Fenrir (Yes, that's a wolf reference.) I'm not the only one.

Maybe the world CAN continue.

Hizz and Beav have just left. I had a good time with them.

Me and Hizz tried to crack the Beav, in an effort to get him a date.

No luck. Lies and excuses flowed freely from him. Makes me sad.

I'm calling that bitch on Friday and seeing if I can get with her.

"The drive isn't worth it!"

Then you don't care enough about her. Move on.

(would I?)

Hanging with the Hizz was pretty laid-back, aside from the rules of the Den, thing. But she did Ok.

She busted out with a freakin great line at the Beav. Damn, if only she did that on the forum!

Nix says: So, Doctor and Mister fade into the mist. (and what could that reference?)

And The Answer Is.........

.......Erich Mueller.

The answer to what? Well, pretty much everything, I guess.

I actually had another title that was way more cerebral, but I keep my word.

*sigh* This is what it's come to. Constantly blogging and...Well, I have read 6 books in the past 2 weeks. So, that's a bonus.

@ Everyone that replied to my last post: Thank you.

@ Quill: Thank you for the long talk, today. I will review it, again.

@ Jess: Thank you for the realization. I've spent enough time lying to myself.

Speaking of Quill, we talked about throwing a pre-production Loaf party once I FINALLY FINISH THE FUCKING SCRIPT! A keg and food and whatever. We'll let you know when it comes around, but that is gonna be pretty much his show. Finally, Mr. "Producer" will get around to actually producing. heheheh

Work is going much better. Tony is trying to help me get done the things I need to do. And I should be doing a show on my own this Friday. Hopefully it won't be a total bust like our 2 shows last Saturday. I struck out both times. Of course, Tommy did the first part and then I finished on both.

So many things going through my head. Not like before. Just thinking about things.

"I'm not a threat to myself or others." -GLU- 72 Hour Hold

"I have a question. Who am I today? Maybe I'm certified, a little deranged. Noone knows who I am. I don't even know me, yet" -Hednoize- I Am

I feel like typing out tons of lyrics that mean so much to me and who I am and how I'm feeling. If you've never heard those bands before, definitely something you should do.

Nix says: "Safe in your asylum." -Hednoize- Crazy Boy

Can't Sleep, Again.

I'm up, yet again.

And thinking about females, again.

Jess and I had a long talk. I keep lying to myself and all the girls I meet. I know this, now.

I want a relationship.

There.

I keep claiming to not want to get tied down, but I really am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with.

It's just that I've been fucked over so many times...I liked living in the fantasy that I didn't NEED someone.

But I do.

The one person that I thought would complete me has turned me away too often to fool myself, anymore. It's never gonna happen.

As I said. I'm only here in the 'Lou because of her.

Ok. I'm trying to let her go.

And I'm trying to find someone to make me happy.

All I need is:

1)Intelligence.

2) The ability to love me for me.

3) A female.

Fuck, it sounds so simple. Why does it have to be so damn difficult?

I leave you with a quote:

"I am a sick man....I am an angry man. I am an unattractive man." -Fyodor Dostoyevsky "Notes From Underground"-

Nix says: Yes, I'm a bookworm, you fuckers.

The End of the World AND The Mysterious Phone Call

Ah, yes. The end of the world, again. I keep having dreams where our way of life is completely destroyed. Everyone I know and some strangers are all having a party. The sirens go off. We peek out the window and see the missiles and the smokey trails they leave behind shooting into the sky. There's a massive blast, chaos erupts. Crying, screaming, wondering WHY? Why the fuck would anyone want this to happen?

It's quite frightening. And as a result, I am not sleeping well.

Then this whole hurricane shit. Is that really happening? It's about the destroy the town I was born in.

And the party. The "bachelor" party, that is. Holy shit.

Dinner was a blast. We hit on our waitress and made crafty comments that went right past her.

Back to the base of operations for drinks and to await the stripper(s). Dave thought we were only having one, but we scored and got two for an insanely good deal. He was quite suprised.

First, here's my impression, having just had my first experience of strippers coming to us.

FAKE.

But that's ok, because they were nice to look at.

I totally went into "best man" mode before they even got there, even though I am not the best man. That was interesting and I'm sure Jeremy felt a little ummm...pissed? but somebody had to do it, and he was not stepping up to the plate, so to speak.

Then I totally hooked up Dave. Take my money, you bitches! It was well worth it. I even gathered the guys together to pitch in and have a LESBIAN SHOW! It was pricey, but well worth it.

Then it was off to the East Side. I got kicked out because this chick wouldn't give me change. I've never spent so much time in the private booth, though. Jesus, this was a night of firsts for everyone.

And now......The Mysterious Phone Call.

Apparently, all of that was not enough. I picked up the phone back at the house and made a call. I remember doing that, and I'm pretty sure I was calling Francesca. As for what I said.....Not a fucking clue. Hopefully, I had enough sense to not be a total dumb-ass.

Nix says: So that's the news, bitches.

Yippee?

I had such a great time, last night. Me and Fran hooked up and, well, we just spent time together.

I think I was the more happy entity, but hopefully it wasn't a total loss for her.

I guess I'm not one for the whole dating thing, or whatever. See? I don't even know what to call it!

But I, for one, had a great time.

Nix says: Sing, dammit! Sing!

The Life and Death of....

Since Everyone Else Is Doing It...

Wow. Looks like speaking the truth can be hazardous to your health.

Here's a list of flicks I just got:

Cube
Sin City
The Life and Death of Peter Sellers
The Jacket
Leatherface TCM3
Incident at Loch Ness (with Werner fucking Herzog!!!)
Versus (Yakuza and zombies. Hell, yes.)
La Blue Girl 5&6 (heheheh I'm a pervert.)
Re-Animator (Herbert. Herbert West.)

I finally tracked down the Land of the Dead Soundtrack. Holy shit. What a great album. Unnerving even without the visuals. Definite Halloween listening.

I ask for trouble. I just don't thrive on it, as some do.

I did the shittiest karaoke performance in history. Aerosmith will be calling to sue me very soon.

I'm bored and lonely.

Nix says: Fuck yalls milk.

I Can't Believe I'm Typing This.

I fucking hate AICN (That's Ain't It Cool News.)

I'll try to explain why.

Harry Knowles. A big, fat, red-haired guy who loves movies. No problem there. He starts a site to post rumors, illegal set-reports and pics and generally news on upcoming films. That's a great idea. Right on.

The site picks up. Now, instead of getting sneaky reports, the studios have turned around and welcomed him and his helpers. Umm...Ok. That could be a good thing.

Wait, now everything sounds just so fantastic and amazing and what a great film these Hollywood productions should be. Huh? What happened to objective reporting. The more free shit and trips these guys get, the better the "buzz? they give it. They even put these fucking quotes on posters and DVD's, now. Sometimes just quoting a fans post. What?? (I think if you want a better elucidation on the whole aspect you should check out filmthreat.com Which sums up their opinion of Harry's actions as "Waaahhhh!!! Me want more pwesents!!!")

Now, all that having been said (or typed), I just happened to cruise on over there because BD and Fango haven't been updated. And I just read the fucking coolest story EVER! Fuck Blair Witch. Fuck Undead. Hell, fuck Evil Dead. (That's right. I just said that.)

You have to read this, guys. At least copy and paste to read the title of the article. It should peak your interest.

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=21023

Nix says: That is the coolest fucking thing I have ever heard.

"Please stop making movies."

The above quote comes from the (apparently gone) website uweboll or uwe-boll .com I can't find it anymore. But if you typed in the address that is all that popped up. Those four simple words.

Well, I doubt he'll ever stop. Cuz people keep giving him fucking money to make bad film versions of video games. House of the Dead? Jesus, he even cut in clips from the actual game!!! WTF? Alone in the Dark. Haven't seen it. Don't need to. I already know it sucks. (But if anyone has it, I'd watch it if it was free. Always need a good laugh.)

And now comes Blood Rayne or whatever. It's not out yet, and I haven't seen it. I just read the first review over at Bloody-Disgusting.com. I'm not here to diss the film (Cuz I haven't seen it.) No, my friends, I'm here to share some of the reations of the public. Ready?

by screamwriter - http://screamwriter.blogspot.com
Seriously, how did they get Ben Kingsley to do this?

by fuck_uwe_boll -
Uwe Boll is like my ass hole, he makes a lot of noise, but when it comes out it smells like shit. See what I mean

by Agatsu -
For fuck's sake, can nobody stop this asshole from ruining good game franchises? And
what's with this prequel shit he seems to be into? Rayne kicking Nazi ass would have
been a nice premise for a movie, and I don't need another Van Helsing middle ages
desaster. House of the Dead and Alone in the dark sucked ass and both didn't have
anything to do with the games, and I for one think that Boll will continue his tradition of sucking at every aspect of directing/producing. I just don't get how he legally gets quality actors to participate in his shit. And that fucking retard will direct FarCry, as well. THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

by romerofan_4_life -
Michael Madsen? WHY? Fuck you Uwe Boll, I'll kill you my self!

by TwiztidKiller -
where the hell is this boll mother fucker...i'm going to blow his brains out with a shot gun so he'll stop making more shitty video game movies. I love video games dont get me wrong, but every movie i've seen so far that he has based off one has sucked the big green dick. How did this man get to be such a famous director when he is so
unorginal...what a waste of a talent....

by Alex -
THIS MOVIE BETTER BE GOD DAMN GOOD OR I'M GONNA KILL OWE BOLL. HIS OTHER MOVIES SUCKED AS, ESPECIALLY ALONE IN THE DARK, IT MADE NO SENSE. HIS HOUSE OF THE DEAD WAS O.K BUT WOULD OF BEEN BETTER WITH OUT SLOW MODE!

by jeff a. -
Uwe boll is the worst director in history period. Why do studios f--k with him anyway? Save your money and rent the games from his movies, they're scarier and worth the price, unlicke his filmed cluster f--ks.

by stick -
I guess its time to get out the good ol uwe boll body condom.

So there ya have it. Word on the street is that it's gonna be a hit!

Or, wait. Add an "S" to that last word.

Nix says: Check out more at Bloody-disgusting.com

Flied Lice From The Shitty Wok

If you look about, you'll find this reply on my blog. I have edited it a bit:

"I know this is your blog and all and can post whatever and thats cool, but just answer this question for me. What is the deal with guys and asian girls??? Can you help me??"

Well, I'm glad you asked. (Not really, that's just what you're supposed to say. I mean, I'm not skipping about the room, so overjoyed that someone asked me that question, but I'm not hurt and angered or anything,either.)

Here are my personal musings on the matter.

1) They are foreign, and therefore much like a delicacy. If I had a choice between a hamburger or filet-mignon, chances are I'm going for the thing that's not always available.

2) They always tend to date asian guys. This makes it a challenge and the pursuit is always more fun than the maintenance, after all (Just stating a male fact. Ask around.)

3) The little girl syndrome. Guys always harken back to "the good old days". That means high-school and sex. And we always therefore find younger or younger-seeming females more attractive. (Plus, if you've ever seen asian porn, the chicks always sound like they're crying. That's feeds our dominance issues.)

Now, all that could just be the deranged thinking of a lunatic (me), but there are some kernels of truth in there.

And I know all that makes me sound like a selfish and perverted dick. (And who knows, maybe I am.) But I'm not running around masturbating in public every time I see some asian chick. I just think "Damn". I'm not actively seeking out an asian chick to bang, or anything. I wouldn't leave someone I truly love, or cheat on someone I love if an offer came my way. But if I happen to fall into that oh so wonderful scenario while I am single.....FUCK YEAH!!!LET'S DO IT ALL FUCKING NIGHT, BABY!!!!!

*ahem*

So, to sum it up. Guys are creepy, selfish pricks.

Except me.

Nix says: Anybody else need advice?

P.S. I apologize to all who do not have their own blogs, but I turned off the "Anonymous" replying option. I just recieved my first spam blog reply and wish to keep those fuckers away, as much as possible. Sorry. (But just signing up and not using one isn't a bad idea.)

......the Hell?

What the fuck is wrong with Texas? I mean, it's even worse than ever. Sure, noone's referred to Quick Trip as a "gas station store", but I'm baffled.

We had a 1pm show on Sunday. Tommy got started and some guy came up to the table alone and was looking at the surveys and the sign-in sheet. Back and forth. When I asked he said his fiance was in the car cuz she woke up early to meet her mom or something. Hard to tell, really. I mentioned we had started and if they were gonna go in, they needed to very soon. He then opened the meeting-room door (I said: "Whoa whoa whoa whoa...What are you doing?") and then slammed it shut. I specified that he and her both had to go in togther and he left to get her. They return. Both are staring at me as if I am a rare spotted scuttlebutt beetle, or something. I ask the girl, who looks as if she is barely able to walk, if she's able to make it through the 90 minutes and she mumbles something unintelligible while nodding her head. Ok. I got them seated (along w/another late couple. Everybody is fucking late this week.) and go back to reading. 15 minutes later, they both come out and state she must work.

My impression: These guys tripped some major acid last night and drank.

Later, I had a guy tell me he used cast-iron and never washed them, just scraped out the crap and .... Blech. "I love my cast-iron." Dude, this IS cast-iron, it's just covered in sanitary stainless steel! His girls says she doesn't cook, she just uses the microwave. Lady, you just nuked out everything at 900 degrees. You should just eat the fucking cardboard box. "But it's fast." Our cookware is fucking fast! WTF is wrong with you people? The things you like are right there and you're being fucking retards!

Finally, I (wait for it) got my hair cut today. My hopes rose as I was greeted in fluent english by a younger woman of asian descent. (And yes, Scott I would fuck her.) Great. But who finished their current customer first? Why, Suzy fucking Kwan, of course. Seems she's picked up a few more words in the prominent language of the United States of America. She can say them, but can't understand the reply, though. I then had the most bizarre hair-cutting experience of my life. (Except the time I had my whole head shaved for cash, of course.) She did all the classics: scraping my scalp, combing my ears. But everything was out of order. Cut the right, cut the front. Buzz the back. Clip the ear area on the left. Buzz the right. What the fuck? Is everyone here hooked up with the good LSD and not getting me any, or what?

My hair is shorter than ever. As soon as I thought she had reached an acceptable length, she'd return later and continue snipping away.

But i'd still bang the shit out of Suzy. No matter how bad of a haircut she gives. Cuz I bet she still sounds like she's crying when she has an orgasm. Wait, did I just say that?

Nix says: Help! I'm in Texas!

He Whimpers, Cries and Curls Into A Ball

You gotta know why. I'm in Texas!!! For over a week. With Tommy!!!!! My little life could get no better.

At least I've got free wireless internet to help me through the dark times.

Tommy and I split the demo tonight. He did the opening. I did the middle and he closed it up. It was a bit odd, but we got a 2199 and a 590 out of 5 couples.

We've finally broken our curse and my last paycheck covers my rent and bills. Nice. Feeling better, now. Will have to keep saving, though. No playing on my flat pay. Only on commision.

So, I guess I effectively said something on here to .... I'm not gonna even go into it. Forget it. (Guess I could just delete that whole line, but this is my head that is spewing from my fingers and whoever is foolish enough to visit is either gonna read all this pointless crap and maybe laugh or feel better about their life or just skim for mention of their own name.)Blah.

My sister has joined the blogging community, in the same fashion as I did. Thinking I had to join to reply to a blog. Well, mine should be capaple of anonymous. But, we should all be glad to have her along on the ride. Check out her metaphysical musings or whatever at: ohthehorrorofitall.blogspot.com

Seems this past week was full of chaos and clashes. I apologize for my actions or non-actions. I never intend to piss anyone off.

@ Quill: Sorry.

@ Beav: I'm sorry that happened at my den. Violence, even in a joking manner is not alowed. Those responsible got a talking to, but who knows if it registered or not.

@ Those Responsible: Never again harm my or your friends at my place, please. Do what you want at yours, but please leave my den a peaceable place where noone need fear physical or mental harm. Thanks.

That's all for now. Perhaps more as this weekish of hell continues.

Nix says: I still love you all.

SuperCaliFragiFuckIt

Ahhhh....Friday night. The night for friends to meet. Mates to either fuck or make love. Pot-salesmen to sit in a hotel in Jeff City doing nothing. What better night could there be? (BTW, for anyone just randomly skimming through strangers blogs, I sell cookware. Pots and pans, you fools.)

Imagine this: This is the second time that I've arrived at a hotel and the Special Olympics is staying in the same hotel as I am. Gotta keep the special Ed imitations to a minimum.

So, what could I possibly find to say about ME!? (And I don't mean Windows Millenium Edition, dammit.) Since this is a page all about ME!!!

We are making no money. I thought getting a $9 paycheck in commision was bad. I've had 2 or 3 in a row with none at all. Not exactly making me feel comfortable with my new bills and shit.

On the positive side, Tony has stated that if I get my shit together and show the Asian, I will have a spot beginning next year to go out on my own. Ok. Sounds easy enough. But I have a feeling once I address the current issues that more will pop up.

And what, exactly, am I looking for, companionship-wise? I've got a girl willing to just come over and have sex for the hell of it. (Actually, the quote is: "I've been waiting 3 years for this.") Well, that's gonna be fun, no doot aboot it. But after that...Will I just spend my time looking for nothing else but pure sex? I definitely don't want a lock-down, just you and me type of relationship. I don't think I could handle that. Hmm...A quandry. See, the reason I swore off sex for so many years is that I always got wayyyyy too wrapped up in the girl I had it with. It was like instant attachment. Just like an addiction. Not to the sex, but to the companionship. I should find myself a mindset....I am a hairless bear roaming the woods searching for something to eat and something to fuck. Perhaps that would help. But then, wouldn't I be just like all those guys that I fucking hate? I never wanted to be like them. Ahhh, it's the curse of the romantic. I always want to make her feel special, wanted, needed. I dunno.

So, I'm looking forward to this no strings attached thing very much so.

Nix says: Gonna go chat with Wolf. Been awhile since I talked with my pack-brother.

The Return

Must...make...post....

Well, holy shit. The Hizz somehow got the file from the Loaf disc.

Now, we may continue. It's halfway done, as it is. Let me get back into the writing mode and away from the "Is there a god?" mode and it's on.

Nix says: You are excused.