Can't Sleep, Again.
I'm up, yet again.
And thinking about females, again.
Jess and I had a long talk. I keep lying to myself and all the girls I meet. I know this, now.
I want a relationship.
There.
I keep claiming to not want to get tied down, but I really am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with.
It's just that I've been fucked over so many times...I liked living in the fantasy that I didn't NEED someone.
But I do.
The one person that I thought would complete me has turned me away too often to fool myself, anymore. It's never gonna happen.
As I said. I'm only here in the 'Lou because of her.
Ok. I'm trying to let her go.
And I'm trying to find someone to make me happy.
All I need is:
1)Intelligence.
2) The ability to love me for me.
3) A female.
Fuck, it sounds so simple. Why does it have to be so damn difficult?
I leave you with a quote:
"I am a sick man....I am an angry man. I am an unattractive man." -Fyodor Dostoyevsky "Notes From Underground"-
Nix says: Yes, I'm a bookworm, you fuckers.
And thinking about females, again.
Jess and I had a long talk. I keep lying to myself and all the girls I meet. I know this, now.
I want a relationship.
There.
I keep claiming to not want to get tied down, but I really am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with.
It's just that I've been fucked over so many times...I liked living in the fantasy that I didn't NEED someone.
But I do.
The one person that I thought would complete me has turned me away too often to fool myself, anymore. It's never gonna happen.
As I said. I'm only here in the 'Lou because of her.
Ok. I'm trying to let her go.
And I'm trying to find someone to make me happy.
All I need is:
1)Intelligence.
2) The ability to love me for me.
3) A female.
Fuck, it sounds so simple. Why does it have to be so damn difficult?
I leave you with a quote:
"I am a sick man....I am an angry man. I am an unattractive man." -Fyodor Dostoyevsky "Notes From Underground"-
Nix says: Yes, I'm a bookworm, you fuckers.
posted by NixEclips at 1:13 AM
4 Comments:
I could've told you that, dude. Heck, I HAVE told you that.
Sooner or later, things will happen for you. You just gotta keep that in mind.
I know you bemoan the fact that you can't have "her" - but you know what? It's her loss. Fuck it. She's not the only woman in the world, and she's not the only "her" for you. However, if you keep dwelling on her, it'll hinder your chances to find anything else.
I know you find it hard to let her go. But that's not because letting go is hard per say. It's because you don't want to. And you have to want to for it to happen.
You are so very fucking right. I have to want to and I can't. What the hell is wrong with me? I realize we will never be together. I see potential in other girls (Yes, I see Francesca as a possibility.) And I'm holding myself back.
Nix says: I know what I need to do. I just can't do it. Someone needs to show me it's worth it.
When they say "love is blind", there's so much more to that it's not even funny.
You're blinded by it and from it. Open your eyes and you'll see that you can prove it's worth it to yourself, bro. Because unless you really LOOK at what you're being shown, showing anything of that nature to you is a practice in futility.
;)
OPEN your eyes, heart, and mind. SEE all the wonderful possibilities out there just waiting for you to pounce on them like the wolf you claim to be. STOP being afraid to let go, and let go. ENJOY.
Quill Says [& KNOWS]: Yes, it's really THAT simple.
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