Croc's? WTF Kinda Name Is That?

Rock out with your croc out, bitch.

So, you've got time alone. What do you do? Hey, I've got an idea, let's invite Beaver AND Dave over. Because there's nothing better than 2 crazy guys and a psychology major hanging out together.

No, seriously. I had a lot of fun. Beav showed up, we talked and laughed. Spent an amazing amount of time figuring out what words would sound like if you said them backwards. (We did this without the assistance of pen and paper, mind you.) I think "cock" was the funniest one.

Dave returned our call and decided he would, in fact, like to join us.

Next, I had an idea...Why don't we all go somewhere where there would be some actual women!!!

And I was the only with any interest. That's kinda strange. 3 adult males and only one of them wants to go on a quest for action?????

Anyway, after some debating on our actual destination, we just went up the road to this little place called "Croc's". It was a nice little place. You had many choices of activities. You could play video deer hunting, video bowling, video golf...You get the idea.

I saw the most gorgeous female ever. Ask Dave. He'll tell you all about how much I annoyed him with my constant, "Seriously. Look at her."

I finally went over and told her. Then ran away, quickly, because it all sounded creepy to me. Fuck. I was just trying to compliment her and leave her with a good feeling and I fucked it all up.

Ahem.

Made a new mix CD. It's actually one of the most honest and personal ones I've done yet. And you could ask Mikki how many I've done, but I'm sure she's lost count. I'm happy at myself.

Nix says: I've said a lot, but have I really said anything at all?

Not So Quietly Going Crazy

Pevely fucking rocked. Steve was a big help and I'm glad he stepped up to the challenge. (the challenge of waking up early)

We found many props for the Loaf and I picked up one for my later project, as well. We got fucking lost on the way there (Thanks Hizz !) but it was hilarious and we got to pretend to be all pissed off and laugh at the situation.

I also purchased a cheap laptop. It's got wireless and M Word, so I am happy. Now I can work on the Loaf when I'm on the road. (I think I need the drivers, so Joe or Scott....Can you hook a crazy fucker up?)

Also grabbed a video cam. This is for behind the scenes type of shit and our documentary stuff, too.

@All.....

This is the worst time to know me. I am drowning in a pool self-reflection, depression and anger.

I can't even go to see my own mother, right now. I don't want her to see me like this. She worries about me all the time, as it is.

It all comes out as bizarre behaviour. I'm dealing with many things that have been with me for many years.

If I have offended you or made you be concerned for my well-being, I sincerely apologize. Probably all of you have never really seen this happen and had to witness the mental breakdown.

I've spent this day trying to get anyone on the phone to talk to me. Everyone is doing what I should be doing. Visiting family.

I feel very alone, even when I am surrounded by humans. And I know this all looks very strange to those around me. I really am sorry.

I'm floundering about, looking for something to balance me out.

I'll be back, soon. Please don't think it will always be like this.

Nix says: I love you all.

Where To Start?

I'm back from Oodah (Utah, folks.). Here's the most interesting part of that trip:

Tommy couldn't drive anymore on Sat night, so he pulled off in the middle of nowhere to sleep at a motel. It was pitch black. No light in the parking lot. The check-in office had stuffed animal heads mounted on the walls. This little shit-hole middle of nowhere place! A blood-red light illuminated the porch. It had many bull/cow whatever skulls. Some still seemed to have rotting flesh on them. There was a huge stack of antlers, as well. That's right. Tommy had checked us into the Bate's Motel. It was fucking creepy. And the soap was as big an Ande's mint.

I did many rewrites on the Loaf script. Making scenes more exciting/funny/entertaining and, most importantly, make more sense.

I also spent a lot of time doing producing chores. Making lists of everything we need to get started/done.

I actually got to go to the book store while in Oodah. Which is amazing, because asking Tommy to take you to the book store is like asking him to take you to the beer store. Anyway, I got a book on making a documentary and one called "Clearance and Copyright". I'm basically home-schooling myself.

About five minutes ago I finished reading the script for my "serious" project. Brian, my screenwriter, sent it via email. Now, you must understand that this is a very personal project that reflects many things from my past. So... There were some points where I was near tears. But, personal feelings aside, it's a well written work. He took all of my plot ideas and really made them work. I can't tell you how good this is. Holy shit.

So, the film projects are taking on a momentum that hopefully won't be stopped.

Nix says: "It's easy. You let go, and drive straight down the road." (final line of script)

I actually got a lot of work done tonight, though.

Sometimes I WONDER why I'm so obsessed with the Yukon. Perhaps IF I even knew where the damn Yukon was located...Hmmm....
Btw, my Aunt has to see a different specialist about her back, so I'll let you know when SHE'S found out what's going on.
Our only demo is at 7pm today (Tuesday), so I hope to be SLEEPING most of the day.
I went over Scolly's notes he made for that one demo, so I hope to remember to utilize them NEXT time I do it.
Tommy took the demo Tv TO the room and is watching and playing poker at the same time. I laughed at HIM.
Well, I'm in the middle of the lobby RIGHT NOW, so I should go.

Nix says: ?

Well, It's Official.

I'm old.

I found my first grey hair on my trip to Texas.

There's another one, too, but I didn't feel like fighting to find it.

In other affairs, not much going down. I bought a shitload of DVD's while I was in Texas. I recommend The Hole. It's a fucked up psychological flick. And Series of Unfortunate Events was very well done and held true to the books. Dark and humorous.

It looks like it's back to just me and Tommy on the road. Me and TJ went and got toasty and TJ went off on Tommy. Good going, TJ. But you're a dumbass, too.

Am I destined to be a serial killer, or can I fight it?

Does everyone have to be so stupid?

Why do I have to sleep?

Are the angels really bowling?

How did those clouds support that giant?

Curious George should be on a leash.

Here's your sign: "You suck, you un-funny redneck sumbitch!"

When I concentrate, you don't exist.

Nix says: See above.