Friday, January 28, 2005

We Now Return To Dr. Phil....

"What YOUUUU need to understand, Suzy Kwan, is that you cannot speak english. That's why you shouldn't be cutting HAAAAIIIRR in AMERICA."

So, I guess an explanation is in order.

Spawn and I always make fun of Dr. Phil. And today I got my hair cut in Texas. (I had to get Tommy off my ass)

The lady was nice enough. It's just that she was of some sort of Asian descent and couldn't speak barely a lick of english.

I feared for my head. She combed my ear repeatedly. I don't mean the area near my ear. I mean the actual ear. It's still sorta red. She took an excruciating amount of time with each snip, as well.

But it looks ok. And I didn't have to fucking chat and banter like you do with those people that can actually have a conversation. And it only cost $11.

So, thanks, Suzy. Or whatever your name was, since it was pointless to ask. And good job.

Oh, and sales were good last night but sucked tonight. Tomorrow is a 4 banger, though. We'll see what happens.

Nix says: I'm glad I didn't ask for a shave, though.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

You'll Never Guess Where I Am!!!!

You give up, don't you?

It's TEXAS!!!! YAY!!!!!

*Sigh* 3 guys. One bed. One couch. And an inflatable mattress.

I'm gonna get stepped on everytime Neil wants to pee. Whee! Can't wait.

So, I was doing my laundry here and some asshole came up while I wasn't there guarding it, (cuz it just seems stupid for someone to steal someone elses' laundry) and the opened up the washing machine and left it open in the middle of my cycle. So my clothes are just sitting there in soapy dirty water. And I couldn't get the damn thing to finish the goddamn fucking cycle!!!!!! Agghh!! People are assholes. Especially in TX. Something retarded like this always happens first thing when we get to this place. Ooooooo......I wish I knew who it was.

But on to more interesting things than retarded hotel patrons and dirty clothes:

On the trip out here I was listening to this disc I bought a while back but didn't really listen to.

You see, I have two main discs that I throw on when I am writing. HedNoize is the main one. Man, that helps me get in the zone. And also this Snow Patrol album, Final Straw. It's not what you would expect ME to be listening to.

So tonight in the "SUV" I was listening to the words and how the album was set up. It's actually quite good. The first two songs tied in together. Song 1 was sort of a girl/guy conversation about what she wants him to do with himself (grow up, I guess) and he comes back with he likes his drug. Song 2 seemed to be from the guy's side and why he does it.

But the real kicker was the final two songs on the album. The first, Somewhere, A Clock Is Ticking is a very sinister and eerie, yet beautiful tune. It's like the guy realizes the girl is leaving him and they have a confrontation and there are references to a war and an explosion towards the end. What really made it haunting was the repeated line "I can do anything to you.", cuz at the beginning he was saying she couldn't leave. Man, I must have listened to that like four times to try to figure out what was going on.

The second one really freaked me. I think he killed her.

I'll have to listen again. The lyrics on all the tracks are not straightforward. It will probably take more concentrated efforts from me to try to piece it together.

It's funny. I was not impressed with it when I got it. But now that I....Fuck. You get the idea.

I like it.

Nix says: I'm done babbling.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Mind Twister

I'm definitely not stable right now. Up and down. Angry, sad, happy....all over the place.

I thought I was done with my dad thing. You know, him dying and all that. But I've been thinking about him a lot lately. Having some crying fits. Crawling back into myself.

And I thought I was done with Mikki. Thought it wouldn't hurt me anymore.

And I know this is very hard on Hizz. She's watching me fight all of this and can't do anything except be there.

So, let's move on to other subjects.

I'd like to finish Night of the Living Loaf before September. I'd like to enter in the NYC Horror Film Festival.

I'm beginning to wonder whether my untitled project will ever be completed. I mean, there's a lot of personal things that are in there. Will I be able to face all of those things?

Nix says: So easy to let the fingers babble.



Thursday, January 06, 2005

Why You Got To Be So Negative?

Umm....So I was wishing I had some really smart-ass and entertaining post to put up here.

I woke on Thursday to find an email waiting for me. It was from the mother of someone I was very close to. Her name is Mikki (not the mom). Mikki's dad took his own life this New Years and I was just finding out.

Mikki and I used to date. As a matter of fact, I've written about her on this very blog.

I didn't know what to think. And I didn't. Think, that is (although there are those that say I never do). I began writing her as soon as the shock wore off.

I have nothing to offer except me. And I can't even do that because I have to leave for work Friday.

I should just say "Fuck her", according to some. "She done you wrong." or something. Well, fuck it. I know I got shafted, but if someone I (still) care about is hurting and I can partially understand, then I'll be there. Hell, even if I have no clue I would be there.

Before I get totally loose fingers and type up shit I don't care to get into, now.....I'll just sign off.

Nix says: The pain of others can be just as painful for you.