My Most Hated Time Of The Year
Yes, I'm a fucking Scrooge. I hate Christmas or Xmas or Masmas or whatever. Hate it. All of a sudden people start thinking: "Hmmm. Nice? Be nice? Ok, I can do that for a week or so. Hey! It's ExMas! Maybe that will make up for how shitty I've been to others for the past year!" And I hate that. Suddenly people that would prefer to spit on you, rather than say "Thank you" when you hold the door for them are practically shining your shoes in an effort to "get into the holiday spirit". Fuck off.
And also, that being said, guys, check this out (there ya go, Spawn):
How to survive your family on Christmas (by Nix)
1) Kick them in the head and tell them to fuck off. Or just roll your eyes and sigh.
2) Put Clorox in their drink and laugh as they choke and vomit blood. Or just grit your teeth.
3) Nail them to their chairs and set them on fire. Or just distract yourself watching It's A Wonderful Life for the 4,556 time.
4) Bring the spirit of Halloween to Xmas by putting razor-blades in the ham. Or just Make friends with the eggnogg.
5) Put Ecxtasy in the eggnogg and everyone will be happy and pleasant. Or just find a way to politely tell them to back the fuck off.
There ya go, friends. Hope that helps you in this most unfortunate of holidays. If I were religious, I'd go into a tirade about commercialism and all that. But I'm not religious, so I won't.
Don't forget to buy me shit!
Nix says: Seriously, I feel much better, now.
nixeclips
NixEclip
More blogs about NixEclips.
And also, that being said, guys, check this out (there ya go, Spawn):
How to survive your family on Christmas (by Nix)
1) Kick them in the head and tell them to fuck off. Or just roll your eyes and sigh.
2) Put Clorox in their drink and laugh as they choke and vomit blood. Or just grit your teeth.
3) Nail them to their chairs and set them on fire. Or just distract yourself watching It's A Wonderful Life for the 4,556 time.
4) Bring the spirit of Halloween to Xmas by putting razor-blades in the ham. Or just Make friends with the eggnogg.
5) Put Ecxtasy in the eggnogg and everyone will be happy and pleasant. Or just find a way to politely tell them to back the fuck off.
There ya go, friends. Hope that helps you in this most unfortunate of holidays. If I were religious, I'd go into a tirade about commercialism and all that. But I'm not religious, so I won't.
Don't forget to buy me shit!
Nix says: Seriously, I feel much better, now.
nixeclips
NixEclip
More blogs about NixEclips.
posted by NixEclips at 8:19 AM
2 Comments:
You know what you need NIxie old pal?
A good old fashioned Hummer.. and I am not talking your off the shelf toothy fumbling the sack hum job either, I am talking the HOT HOT HOTTER than hell Asian Twin Porn Star Humarifick BJ!
What ar ehte odds of you just saying fuck the world and buying yourself a trip to Amsterdam? I mean put yourself in Debit, and just go buy a FREAKING FREAKY AZZED WEEKEND!
Bro I tell you $2500 and you will have an ear to ear for a year.
(I think that may be the National Motto of the Netherlands)
PS. No worries about the ALl that Jazz Review... I will just taunt you mercilesly until you produce a work worthy of your caliber.
(PS. I wanna Be Sickskull.. you can be Eggbert)
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