Well, Somebody's Hard at Work.

Making everyone around me miserable, that is.

Holy shit. Death, divorce, threats of death, depression, anger......

It's like 2005 hit and everyone I know is suffering. WTF?

Sure, my life isn't all that great with all the shit I'm carrying over from '04, but....Damn!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining that I also deal with what they deal with. I care and worry for my friends.

I just can't believe all of this is happening at once. Fuck, what the hell is in store for me, this year? Ya know?

And in weather......

So we are all supposed to be using these blogs to talk about what's really going on with us and what we feel and think, right?

That's the intended purpose, at least.

Well....I can do that.

But someone that has never been to one and then suddenly decides to check it out and reads what affect their having on your life.....I can see where that might cause some concerns.

So let me attempt to explain myself.

Starts with an M. Ends in an I.

I almost thought something seriously terrible had been caused by her actually coming here to read up on me. Sure, being back in touch wasn't the easiest thing for me. But I think she was thinking that it was her fault for putting me in touch with things I had not dealt with in a while.

And I can see that. That is partially true. But any repercussions from this lay firmly with me.

I had decided that I would no longer have contact with her in any way. If she wanted to "try again" or what the fuck ever, I was VERY prepared to laugh in her face, ear or whatever and tell her to fuck off.

But this is most definitely a different situation and I reacted accordingly.

I only hope that if I ever did something to totally piss off people who I thought cared about me, that they would have the heart to help me when I needed them.

I've already lost one, so-called friend, that I helped through so much. When I needed that care and understanding in return I got nothing because of a grudge.

Mikki, if you're reading this:

There was a time when I would have done anything for us to be together.

And now I will do anything to help you.

You were always there for me and I fucked you over too many times.

And we're still friends.

Always.

Just ask and I'll do whatever I can.

Nix