Oh, The Things That You Will See

I believe that's the title of a Dr. Seuss book. Or at least close. I don't feel like doing the research required to confirm it.

Well, it's here. I'm 31. And I feel pretty good. Aside from that pesky grey hair and the fact that I'm trapped in Mormon country.

The little Asian guy actually bought me a beer last night. Total shock. That was nice of him.

I've experienced some amazing things in my life. Quill once suggested that we make a documentary about me. I wasn't totally comfortable with that, but it IS a pretty good idea. I thought I might just share some of my more memorable memories in this blog.

When I lived in Cali, I once invited a hooker who was talking to me at my front steps into my apartment so that she could at least wash her feet. She was wearing sandals and looked like she'd been walking all day. And that was it. Of course, I was propositioned, but that wasn't what I was going for. She was cute and all and about my age. She seemed kinda fucked up on something, too. But I just talked with her for a while. We stood on the roof of the building and looked out over the city and the ocean and I learned more about this girl than anyone had probably tried to in years. And I wasn't trying to fuck her. And after letting her get somewhat cleaned up and offering her a beer, I wished her well and she was gone. It was quite an experience. I wonder where she is, now. If she's alive. If she's still fucking for money. Or if she got off the fucking drugs and did something with herself. I'll never know. I hope for the best for her.

Well, that's kinda sappy. But that's what happened.

For some craziness to balance this out, I offer you this:

I used to see this girl in the 'Lou. She lived in the city and we'd get beer and smoke and fuck. We decided to go to one of the parks nearby and check out this concert. Like a jazz band or something. A big family deal. And there were quite a few families there. Very nice. We set up our blanket and cooler towards the back, but still in the middle of everything. Good music. Good times. Then she started to take my pants off. What!? Yes. We had sex in the middle of all those people. Then we packed up and left ASAP.

Or how about this L.A. story?

I went to a fetish club for some dancing and whatever. I noticed a line of people standing at a door in the back. Curious, I joined the line. As I was waiting, I turned to the girl behind me and asked what was going on and if I had to pay. She laughed and observantly guessed that I had never been there, before. She took hold of my hand and we went in together. Inside, there were chairs set up before a little stage and on the stage a guy had two girls tied to chairs and was "torturing" them with a device that sent electrical shocks. Me and the girl sat towards the middle of the audience and watched as he teased them to orgasm. The girls were volunteers from the audience. A new girl was picked and as it got going, the girl I was now with, undid my freakin' pants and started to masturbate me. I was a little freaked and looked around. Yes. People were watching and I reached over and started to do the same to her. We finished up about the same time the show did and then left.

Hmm...Seems to be a lot of sexual stuff going on here.

I was going to talk about some more stuff in the 'Lou, but I've said enough. Life is crazy and full of amazing things. I look forward to more experiences and mind-blowing stuff.

Nix says: Yes. I am a pervert.