Sunday, October 23, 2005

The Book Of ... This City Sucks

Oodah, I hate you. Your stupid laws and stupid uptight people that won't even drink caffeine. Those stupid people that take great offense if you even mention the consumption of alcohol. The way you name your streets "North West 4500 South North Street" and shit. The way you encourage me to read your even more fictionalized book that justifies your existence. The way I'm FUCKING TRAPPED HERE DURING MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR AND ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY WITH NOT A GODDAMN FUCKING THING TO DO, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, to sum that up, I really don't like being in Oodah, right now. I wasn't sure if that was clear to any possible readers, or not. Just thought I would clarify.

I contemplated whether or not I should post this next part and finally decided I should:

My birthday is arriving on 10/26/05 (you won't find that on the forum, for some reason, and I can't fix that). Thought I would let those who might be considering presenting me with a gift know that I have not purchased the Land of the Dead Unrated DVD, the Evil Dead II Book of the Dead II DVD, or I dunno, some other fucking shit ass stupid bloody horror flick that makes everyone look at you like a freak DVD, either.

I'm not saying I'm looking for anything. Hell, I won't even be there to celebrate my next step closer to the grave with anyone. I'm trapped in an icy hell with a tiny asian man that I'd like to kill. (Hmmm, I wonder if anyone can pick up my negativity. I sure hope not. Note to self: Do not talk to yourself in print.)

I'm missing Doom. I'm missing whatever the hell is going the fuck on. I'll be back the day before Halloween. Yay. I get to be totally exhausted! Yay, assholes! Yay!

And what the fuck is it with everyone having their IM's go to their fucking cell phones for like 4 goddamn days straight? I don't send messages to cell phones unless I absolutely have to. It starts with the fact that it could possibly cause you money and continues that you could be driving about. My IM contact list is slowly filling up with cell phone icons that never change and it's pissing me off, because I never know if you fools are actually on or off or masturbating or slaughtering puppies in satanic rituals as you snap your fingers in a display of power.

Wow. Nonsensical rant.

Well, I'm gonna take my negative self to bed, I suppose.

Nix says: *snap snap snap*

3 Comments:

Blogger NixEclips said...

Ms. Hanson, you fucking bitch. You have just taken one step closer to a slow, methodical and extremely painful ass-fucking with a 6-inch replica of the Statue of Liberty, followed up with a very bloody ripping of the throat. You goddamn bloodsuckers!!! Fuck you and your stupid company construction "mn" road. Whatever "mn" means, you stupid whore. I'm coming for you. Keep looking out your windows. You'll know when I arrive.

2:48 AM  
Blogger Quilled One said...

I'm sorry you're sucking in Oodah right now, bro. I'm also sorry you're going to be there on your birthday. I know what that's like, not being around your friends on the birthday.

Rest assured that you will be receiving a gift from us. *Queen starts playing (you know which song, too)*

When you return, we will double-celebrate your birthday and my new job together...heck, along with whatever/whoever else is happy/good news. We will drink. We will have fun. Nice! We'll tuck our pants cuffs into our socks and act professional, too.

So push past Clinton in his own library, and chill out, knowing that fun in on the horizon.

8:01 PM  
Blogger nut job said...

Lol, If my Cell icon is on, I'm busy sleeping, so fuck off... lol. :-D

8:34 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home