A Good Idea?
So, I'm catching parts of Eternal Sunshine of the something Mind. I dunno. Jim Carrey is in it.
It's proposing an interesting question. Is it better to erase the memory of a failed relationship? Or do we need these experiences to become better people?
I think we need them to last. They teach us what we need to change.
But I wish I could just erase the shit that hurts me. And the shit that hurts is the shit that made me happy. It's not the bad times that make me ache over Mikki. It's not the things I did to her or she then did to me. It's all the fantastic feelings and emotions. The happiness I felt, that make me me sad.
And, I suppose, that's even more depressing than thinking of the bad things.
I'm gonna try to sort this out. Have a face to face conversation and try to shut all this shit down.
I just need an honest explanation. A fucking reason. And that might help.
But I don't think I'd want to be without the memory of someone who made me feel true love. I wouldn't know what that was, without her. And now I can recognize the feeling because she was the first to give it to me.
And she gave me something beautiful. Something I can share with someone else.
I've always thought of what I gave to her and gave up for her, but now I know she gave me more than I could. And I'm a better (depressed, but whatever) person because I had her in my life.
And it's time to let her go and become that beautiful wildflower that she already is.
Would I be who I was if my father hadn't died? Or my fiance didn't fuck my best friend?
I highly doubt I would have the knowledge I have, now, without those things.
Sure, I was fucking nuts, to begin with, but everything life has given or taken away has helped form me into my present head-space.
And here I am. Fuck you if you don't like me. I do.
Nix says: Ran into a couple of hookers in the elevator. $200 bucks for a blow-job? Is that the going rate? It was fun to mess with them, though.
It's proposing an interesting question. Is it better to erase the memory of a failed relationship? Or do we need these experiences to become better people?
I think we need them to last. They teach us what we need to change.
But I wish I could just erase the shit that hurts me. And the shit that hurts is the shit that made me happy. It's not the bad times that make me ache over Mikki. It's not the things I did to her or she then did to me. It's all the fantastic feelings and emotions. The happiness I felt, that make me me sad.
And, I suppose, that's even more depressing than thinking of the bad things.
I'm gonna try to sort this out. Have a face to face conversation and try to shut all this shit down.
I just need an honest explanation. A fucking reason. And that might help.
But I don't think I'd want to be without the memory of someone who made me feel true love. I wouldn't know what that was, without her. And now I can recognize the feeling because she was the first to give it to me.
And she gave me something beautiful. Something I can share with someone else.
I've always thought of what I gave to her and gave up for her, but now I know she gave me more than I could. And I'm a better (depressed, but whatever) person because I had her in my life.
And it's time to let her go and become that beautiful wildflower that she already is.
Would I be who I was if my father hadn't died? Or my fiance didn't fuck my best friend?
I highly doubt I would have the knowledge I have, now, without those things.
Sure, I was fucking nuts, to begin with, but everything life has given or taken away has helped form me into my present head-space.
And here I am. Fuck you if you don't like me. I do.
Nix says: Ran into a couple of hookers in the elevator. $200 bucks for a blow-job? Is that the going rate? It was fun to mess with them, though.
posted by NixEclips at 12:55 AM
4 Comments:
It's pain that helps mold us into the people we are. Sometimes that pain is from positive lost expereinces, and sometimes it's from negitive wtf situations. In anycase, as Captain Kirk said in one of the ST movies, "I don't want to lose my pain, I need my pain."
It's great your going to get closure with Mikki. I hope that it all goes well, and you both can be happy... no matter what the outcome of that discussion is.
200 dollars a blow job? wow, if i knew that... lol...
Be careful though, you never know if you would be talking to an undercover cop...
all I know is that for $200 she better do more than suck MY dick!
Fuck for $200 bucks she better giveme an hour or two to just randomly call out people and then she starts suckin!
Or paint my fucking house.
LOve is such a pain in the ass.. GADDAMN IT!
I like you Nixie.. so what the fuck you can;t be all bad/
(but I am suffering from a complete lack of sleep so I could also be halucinating)
oh yea.. by the way.. go here http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=9505342769 it isa girl I knew way back in Highschool.. who now sells crap on ebay.
I am promoting it as the GREATEST DONKEY/SMOKING/SEX aucion ever.
DeRex says: Dog or Donkey $20.
DUDE! Imagine this.. Jennifer Aniston.. Angelina Jolie adn Brad Pitt all fucking! I got the video!
http://delorumrex1.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_delorumrex1_archive.html#114409781379489947#links
I am promoting it like it is the best thing since tammy NYP!
Explanations are great; thing is, most of the time, even as necessary as they are for closure, you find out they:
A) Don't change anything about how you feel about things, and rarely ever justify anything or provide the kind of understanding you seek.
and
B) End up ultimately being a very unnecessary "necessary" thing for moving on from the past. Meaning at the end of it all, it will leave you saying, "THAT is it? That!? That's...argh!"
Nonetheless, seek out and claim your closure. Like many things in life, it will be pointless shit that somehow still retains worth in the long run.
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